My father is back again

My father must really love me. He is back again in Kerala.

There is another big news…he is going to quit Yahoo, where he has been working for the last eight months. Says, he wasn’t happy there. I had to wait for a full 30 minutes, which seemed like a lifetime before I could find out where he was going to work.

Apparently, there is a company called ibibo.com, in a far off place called Gurgaon…my father is joining them in a month. He is very excited about the offer but a little scared of the place. Says, people are really rude and lots of crime. What is crime? The day my mother can hear me…I will ask her.

People have started arriving in droves. Some of them will be staying with us for the night, cramping us further. Gosh…don’t these people learn? Didn’t I give them enough hints in the hospital itself?

I really hate it when my mother changes my wet panties in front of all these relatives. And I hate it further when they come close to me and shout in my ears: “Ohhh….the baby is getting her name tomorrow!”

They are fighting over a name for me

There have been calls to and fro. Father and mother have been fighting over my name. I can hear the full conversation because when mother feeds me, she uses the speaker phone.

Apparently, we will have a super dress like Superman...just that instead of an "S" we will have a "R" on our chest. Very unfashionable, my parent. The blue and red combo is so 19th century!

I wouldn’t have bothered listening if my mother hadn’t angrily banged the phone and said: “It was a mistake marrying a internet savvy man. When asked for name suggestions…how dare he take a print out of all pages from babynames.com and courier it across?”

Next time, my father called…they started the discussion again. My father suggested “Anamika” (my mother suspects that it was the first name in the babynames.com list).

When my mother confronted my father with what she thought of the name, my father suggested “Zulfi”.

Even I could see that this would have been the last name in the list.

After a lot of discussion, it has been decided that my name will be “Rhea”. I like the name…goes well with my surname “Rajan”.

My only problem with the name is that it has a Greek origin and means a singer. Why would you name somebody a singer when you have already stuffed the person with so much music in the womb itself. So much so, I now hate carnatic music. Gimme some head banging stuff and I am game any day.

PS: Overheard my parents conspiring about forming a Super Family, like the Supermans and Incredibles. They are going to name our family The ‘R’ Family and our super wear will have a huge “R” on our chest.

I came to know of my family tree, today

In the few days I have spent in this World, I have realized that family is important. Who else, will take care of you when you can’t even wipe your ass?

So, I spent most of my today figuring out my family tree. My father’s parents have been Capt M Ramaswamy, who happens to be a Army man and Selvi Ramaswamy, a home maker. My mother’s parents are KP Chandrashekaran Nair, a Engineer with the Kerala government and Shantha Chandran, again a home maker.

Check out my family tree for a better understanding:

My paternal grand parents are from Tamil Nadu and maternal grand parents are from Kerala. Wonder what language they would want me to speak at home. If there is too much pressure to learn English, Hindi, Tamil and Malayalam...I will just show my parents the middle finger. I hope they understand sign language!

As you can see I have the blood of those that built the nation, and those that saved the nation.

My only grudge is I wasn’t born in a King’s family. Do they still have kingdoms here? When I was here in my last birth, they did have Kings & Queens. Or is it that, we are Kings but are living out in an exile and very soon my father would gather his army…attack his brother who had usurped the kingdom and get back his throne?

Way too many questions on my mind right now…catch you guys tom.

I saw my maternal grand parent’s house today

We reached Kedaram today. Came to know that Kedaram is the name of my maternal grand parents house.

I did ask my mother what it means, but she didn’t respond. Pretty snobbish, I would say.

Came to know that my mother and her elder sister Rema (I couldn’t see her in the house) were also born in the same hospital – St Martin De Porres Hospital. Apparently, I have an elder brother called Anupam…he is Rema’s son. Will he also share my house? I wish I get my own private time.

We passed the Girls Government Higher Secondary school on our way to the house and my mother lifted my head to the car window and told me: “Rhea, this is where your mother studied.”

Like I cared. Do I have to study? That’s what matters.

Forgot to tell you…when we reached Kedaram, we were welcomed by Raji aunty and her two daughters – Vidya and Divya. Heard they both are taking professional singing classes and are good singers. Wait till I start singing.

Oops! I spotted a violin (which was used by my mother) and a Veena (which was used by my mother’s sister Rema) in the house. I hope they don’t push me to carnatic music – have had enough of it when I was in my mother’s womb.

We are going to my grand parents house tomorrow

Everybody is busy today. Or at least they appear to be.

They are packing all the stuff and paying off the bills. I overhear my grand father and my mother comparing the costs of a delivery in Chennai and Kannur. Apparently, Chennai would have been very costly.

My grand father seems to be a good man, he suggested to my mother that if she felt so strongly about the costs…maybe she should donate the money she saved to an orphanage.

But remember…my mother is selfish…she again used me as an excuse. She said: “No, papa…with the baby and all we will need all the money we can have now. Maybe, later…we can look at that.”

A “Yeah, right!” escaped my lips but doubt if anybody heard it.

Why does my grand mother stay with us every night? Doesn’t she have a house of her own? We already find this place cramped.